After 13 years, I finally got the chance to talk to my 'high school crush'. Thru a common friend, we somehow got re-connected thru email and it's a nice feeling to re-live some highschool memories. Some made me irksome and some well, the heck with them...
Anyway, during those years she was the girl who caused the never-ending hyperventilation in my daily highschool life. She was an image, a chinese goddess whose long hair made her float whenever she sways her head. And when she walked passed by taking those tiny divine steps, I melted away everytime like an ice cube on a hot sizzling day. For four darn years, I felt feverish and exuberant whenever I saw her.
The girl who I wanted to be with and yet was in reality an unreachable dream. She was Chinese. Very fair-skinned and spoke another language and I was a descendant of Lapu-lapu. Perfect chocolate-brown. Period. It was in school, an unspoken rule not to even try to involve oneself with Chinese girls. My best friend once punned, „Siya langis, ikaw latak.(She's scented oil and you're sediment )“. She belonged to a rich family, and I, from a not-even-middle-class.
Nevertheless, she was the object of my affection, who inspired the whole highschool life. Everyday was awesome just be looking at her from afar. I was a school boy who had this huge crush on this cute little girl with a cute dimple on her cheek and a long beautiful hair.
Thus, I resorted to sketching her face-in a way, I don't have to be near her and yet I can still 'touch' her face and 'caress' it. Those were the only times, when I'd be able to dream a surreal nice daydream until my peers would notice the sketch and grab it from me and then wave it to others so to embarrass me or worse, pass it to others so I'd end up chasing after my sketch.
One time, I was sketching her when suddenly a classmate sprung up from behind, took the sketch, ran to her and showed the sketch. All I could do was duck under a desk.
For cryin' out loud I couldn't even breathe when she was 2 meters away from me!! I felt like suffocating! Literally, she took my breath away. Heck I don't know why, but I never had the guts to look her in the eye.
In one oratorical contest, I rehearsed so many times that I was sure to win. Once onstage, I mustered my confidence and began my piece. Halfway through, I saw her... Blackout. No word. Nothing. Just her face on my mind. Naturally, I lost.
I then, tried making poems-that way I can compose it secretly. And there were no audience to boo my act. To my delight some of them were published in the campus organ. Gradually, I felt the inkling of it and kept most of my poems about her and other poems on a notebook. That made me happy.
But then there was this guy..who I've learned had a crush on her since early kindergarden (Oh my goodness!). I knew I couldn't compete with him. He was rich, chinese, chauffered to the school and they were most of the time classmates since they both took chinese classes. He was like a bloodhound sniffing around and after her whereever she went. He looked as if he owned her. I wanted to beat the living daylights out of him. I hated the guy. So by grace given from up above, I got my chance. Since I earned most of the teacher's trust to record quizzes and exams, I (naughtily) lowered all his grades most throughout highschool. Some of them I flunked just to get even. (Heaven forgive me!!) (I really need to personally apologize to him if I get the chance.)
Still I was miserable when I saw him around her.
By this time, our Literature class teacher asked us to write a short story or essay as individual project. I made one. A gory short story entitled Mary (her first name) in which I was the lowly gardener who worshipped the beautiful Mary, who was bequethed to a certain rich man, who I murdered...carved out his heart and eyes and so on and so forth. Our teacher gave me a good grade but detested the story as a bloody nonsense plot!( He never knew the background of it all).
Later on I learned Mary and the rich chinese guy were dating during college and I...well, I can't carry on a real-life murder plot, can I?
So I bid my time and focused on college and went about life after it. I was in Australia, talking to my best pal over the phone, when he told me that 'the Mary' was going out with another of our closest pals during highschool-the guy who grabbed one of my sketches and showed it to her whilst I duck under the desk. I fell off my chair!
Anyway, during those years she was the girl who caused the never-ending hyperventilation in my daily highschool life. She was an image, a chinese goddess whose long hair made her float whenever she sways her head. And when she walked passed by taking those tiny divine steps, I melted away everytime like an ice cube on a hot sizzling day. For four darn years, I felt feverish and exuberant whenever I saw her.
The girl who I wanted to be with and yet was in reality an unreachable dream. She was Chinese. Very fair-skinned and spoke another language and I was a descendant of Lapu-lapu. Perfect chocolate-brown. Period. It was in school, an unspoken rule not to even try to involve oneself with Chinese girls. My best friend once punned, „Siya langis, ikaw latak.(She's scented oil and you're sediment )“. She belonged to a rich family, and I, from a not-even-middle-class.
Nevertheless, she was the object of my affection, who inspired the whole highschool life. Everyday was awesome just be looking at her from afar. I was a school boy who had this huge crush on this cute little girl with a cute dimple on her cheek and a long beautiful hair.
Thus, I resorted to sketching her face-in a way, I don't have to be near her and yet I can still 'touch' her face and 'caress' it. Those were the only times, when I'd be able to dream a surreal nice daydream until my peers would notice the sketch and grab it from me and then wave it to others so to embarrass me or worse, pass it to others so I'd end up chasing after my sketch.
One time, I was sketching her when suddenly a classmate sprung up from behind, took the sketch, ran to her and showed the sketch. All I could do was duck under a desk.
For cryin' out loud I couldn't even breathe when she was 2 meters away from me!! I felt like suffocating! Literally, she took my breath away. Heck I don't know why, but I never had the guts to look her in the eye.
In one oratorical contest, I rehearsed so many times that I was sure to win. Once onstage, I mustered my confidence and began my piece. Halfway through, I saw her... Blackout. No word. Nothing. Just her face on my mind. Naturally, I lost.
I then, tried making poems-that way I can compose it secretly. And there were no audience to boo my act. To my delight some of them were published in the campus organ. Gradually, I felt the inkling of it and kept most of my poems about her and other poems on a notebook. That made me happy.
But then there was this guy..who I've learned had a crush on her since early kindergarden (Oh my goodness!). I knew I couldn't compete with him. He was rich, chinese, chauffered to the school and they were most of the time classmates since they both took chinese classes. He was like a bloodhound sniffing around and after her whereever she went. He looked as if he owned her. I wanted to beat the living daylights out of him. I hated the guy. So by grace given from up above, I got my chance. Since I earned most of the teacher's trust to record quizzes and exams, I (naughtily) lowered all his grades most throughout highschool. Some of them I flunked just to get even. (Heaven forgive me!!) (I really need to personally apologize to him if I get the chance.)
Still I was miserable when I saw him around her.
By this time, our Literature class teacher asked us to write a short story or essay as individual project. I made one. A gory short story entitled Mary (her first name) in which I was the lowly gardener who worshipped the beautiful Mary, who was bequethed to a certain rich man, who I murdered...carved out his heart and eyes and so on and so forth. Our teacher gave me a good grade but detested the story as a bloody nonsense plot!( He never knew the background of it all).
Later on I learned Mary and the rich chinese guy were dating during college and I...well, I can't carry on a real-life murder plot, can I?
So I bid my time and focused on college and went about life after it. I was in Australia, talking to my best pal over the phone, when he told me that 'the Mary' was going out with another of our closest pals during highschool-the guy who grabbed one of my sketches and showed it to her whilst I duck under the desk. I fell off my chair!
Oh well, life is like a box of chocolates, you'd be surprised at what you get.
By now, she's enjoying single blessedness (thank goodness she didn't end up with those losers). And it's a relieving thing that she too matured and considered our emails an enlightening long-overdue talk, which overjoyed me. Hurrah!! The next time I see her I promise to look her in the eye and say Hey, You! You made my wonder years!
Really appreciate it MC, thanks once again. Dinner? My treat? Next time I visit CDO? lol
By now, she's enjoying single blessedness (thank goodness she didn't end up with those losers). And it's a relieving thing that she too matured and considered our emails an enlightening long-overdue talk, which overjoyed me. Hurrah!! The next time I see her I promise to look her in the eye and say Hey, You! You made my wonder years!
Really appreciate it MC, thanks once again. Dinner? My treat? Next time I visit CDO? lol
